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History Lessons
Juliet Dupree snuck into Mr. Forman’s classroom before the morning bell and wrote Mr. Snoreman on the blackboard. When Tristan sat next to her, she’d nudge his arm, nod toward the front of the room, and take credit.
Everyone knew that Mr. Forman’s monotone lectures came straight from the textbook, word for dreary word. He cradled the teacher’s guide with his left arm while he pointed to the ceiling with his right, appearing only slightly more animated than the Statue of Liberty.
The huddled masses of 1st period American History yearned to be free of boredom, so Tristan organized daily pranks. Yesterday the entire class dropped their textbooks on the floor at precisely 8:10am…and received empty detention threats at 8:11am.
When Juliet reached for her book, she had noticed it was published the year she was born. That was odd; she was pretty certain that something historically meaningful had happened in the past 13 years. After all, Tristan had kissed her. That might not make it into the next edition of An American Account Volume II, but it would launch an unpredictable new chapter in her own history, threatening full-out war as soon as Tristan’s girlfriend found out.
This flash fiction piece is in response to the Imagine Monday writing prompt posted last Friday. Join us every week for a new writing exercise.
When I came up with this week’s prompt, I immediately drifted back to my 9th grade American History class. The tale above isn’t far from what occurred in the classroom. My friend arranged pranks on a near-daily basis. One day a classmate discovered that he owned the same digital Casio watch as our teacher, so he set the alarm to go off in class. Our teacher fumbled at his wrist, wondering why he couldn’t get the beeping to stop. Such adolescent nonsense has a way of escalating into legend, and in the hyperbole of memory, I recall this little trick baffling our teacher for months.
Hooray! More notes from the September NJ-SCBWI first page session!
Those familiar with peer critiques know the “sandwich” method: begin with what you liked, then move onto what needs work, and end by pointing out the manuscript’s merits. The editors followed this method well and offered compliments to soften the criticisms. Everyone must have left feeling good about an aspect of their writing. But we still have plenty to work on.
Some common suggestions:
- Rhyme carefully. Rhyme should have a consistent beat and meter. The editors easily picked out when a rhyme stretched to make it work. There was only one rhyming manuscript that worked. The other manuscripts felt limited by rhyme, and one in particular featured subject matter for an older audience, so the rhyme felt out of place. There’s a lot to live up to if you’re going to rhyme, so read many rhyming picture books to get a sense of how it all fits together. It’s not impossible, but great skill is required. They advised rewriting in prose and suggested using alliteration, which can be as fun as rhyming, without the restrictions. But use alliteration in moderation! (Umm, I didn’t mean to rhyme there…)
- Amp up the humor. The editors felt picture book laughs weren’t taken far enough. They wanted the stories to go from simply funny to outrageous. There’s always room for more humor. Make it crazier and more outlandish.
- Avoid common themes. Pets dying. New babies in the family. Monsters. Imaginary friends. First words. Retellings of The Three Little Pigs. These have all been done before, and done well. Stories on these subjects need to dig deep to find something new to say. Stand out, don’t blend in.
The editors also discussed avoiding clichés, clarifying the conflict on the first page, and cutting text to move action along faster. Out of 26 manuscripts, only two or three were considered strong contenders as written, and even so, they still required a little tweaking.
[An interesting tidbit for all you artists: if you’re an author/illustrator, consider yourself at an advantage. An editor is attracted to working with you since they skip the difficult step of matching your PB manuscript with an illustrator. Instead of communicating with two professionals to produce a book, the editor works directly with just one person—you.]
My friends and I thought that for the most part, both editors agreed on the manuscripts. However, one editor thought they didn’t agree very much at all!
But I think we can all agree that we need to work smarter. Some questions to think about as you work on your manuscript:
- Why should a publisher choose your story? What makes it unique and appealing, different from any other book in the marketplace?
- Why should a publisher spend tens of thousands of dollars, work several months (and in the case of PBs, years), and utilize the resources of a dozen or more staff members to produce your book?
- Is this truly the best story you can write? How can you make it even better?
Approximately 2.75 seconds after I tossed a rejection letter into an ever-growing “not right for our needs” pile, I opened this charming Mary Engelbreit card from a friend.
Thank you, Marian.
Thank goodness the hand-written note has not become an extinct sentiment. Marian’s thoughtfulness erased my self-pity. One friend-fan who believes is all I need.
The day got even better when Val Webb emailed sketches of my new blog header. She’s incorporating the main character from one of my middle-grade novels-in-progress. I can’t wait to introduce you to her!
The New Jersey Chapter of SCBWI was treated to an afternoon of professional first page critiques yesterday in Princeton. (Heck, we even felt smarter just being on the campus of Princeton University!)
Editors Connie Hsu and Kate Sullivan from Little, Brown shared their literary insights with 30 aspiring authors. Manuscripts ranged from a whimsical picture book about goldfish to a compelling young adult novel set in a foreign village under siege.
After each first page was read aloud, the editors provided their immediate impressions of the manuscript–what worked, what didn’t.
Some helpful advice included:
- Use first person point-of-view to your advantage. It helps the reader get into your character’s head, so if there’s too much dialogue on the first page and not enough introspection, you’re not using that device to its full potential.
- Make sure the voice fits the genre. This is a common critique I’ve heard repeated at every first-page session. Some picture books were wordy, with long sentences and adult sensibilities. If it takes the entire first manuscript page to set up the story, then you need to cut, cut, cut. Little kids beg their parents to turn the page, so you must get to the story quickly. The first manuscript page needs a clear story arc. Regarding books for ‘tweens and teens, a young adult novel should have longer sentences and be more gritty than middle-grade. In general, the editors said an MG voice can sometimes be classified as “whiney,” whereas a YA voice is angrier and angst-ridden. Yes, let that YA voice curse and swear.
- Make room for illustration in a picture book. You don’t have to describe every detail. Instead of saying, “the girl’s hair was red and wavy like her mother’s red, wavy hair,” try instead, “the girl’s hair was just like her mother’s.” This provides the double benefit of cutting words and leaving the family’s appearance to the illustrator’s interpretation. (Read Linda Urban’s interview with illustrator Marla Frazee regarding The Seven Silly Eaters by Mary Ann Hoberman. Great example of how an illustrator fleshes out the story.)
- Don’t try to surprise your reader on the first page. It can lead to confusion instead. Some stories left important details aside (who/what/why/where) and forced the reader to guess what was happening. You don’t want your reader to guess wrong! If they do, then when the correct information is revealed, they will be confused. You want the reader to move forward, not double-back to re-read.
- Set the scene. The setting provides a clear context for your character’s actions and emotions. Again, don’t make the reader guess where your character is. Show the reader. Immerse the reader in your world.
One of the funnier moments occured when the editors cautioned against using the word “puberty” in a middle-grade work. It guarantees giggles of embarassment among that age group. “It’s a word no ‘tween wants to admit exists,” said Kate Sullivan.
While the insights above were specific to the pages submitted, they can be applied to your own manuscript. Keep in mind that rules can be broken, but it typically takes an experienced, talented author to make the unconventional work.
Want to read more about first pages? Check out these previous posts:
When writing a story, the setting plays a role as important as any character–exuding its own personality and affecting its inhabitants.
Put simply, the setting offers sights and objects to discuss, to throw, or to ignore. The manner in which your characters use these objects can reveal each person’s emotions, purpose, and their personality.
Before writing a scene, I like to do visual research. I want to grasp hold of the objects surrounding my characters before I hand things over to them. I’m currently building a fictitious southern town and I have a general idea of what it should look like, but having never lived south of the Mason-Dixon, I need a little nudge. I punch some select words into the search engines to see what images pop up.
An embellished oil pump courtesy of Roadside America:
A rolling crop field courtesy of the Randall County Agriculture Department:
A lonely little house courtesy of Homes.com:
An old service station courtesy of the Fayetteville, TX Chamber of Commerce:
Endless inspiration, y’all!
Soon I’ll be touring a circa 1785 historic house as visual research for another project. A local township’s historical society removed layers of paint during the restoration and revealed a mysterious drawing of a woman. Legend has it that a disgruntled worker drew the image with a spoon in 1837, after an argument with the owner of the home.
Since one of my projects features an 18th-century home undergoing renovations, I thought this would be a worthwhile trip in the name of research. And the woman on the wall may provide additional inspiration. They say everyone sees something different in her face, and perhaps my characters will, too.
No, that’s not the title of my latest book. It’s a bonafide neighborhood mystery.
Although we live in the Garden State, our community is not known for its plots of open land. We’re right on top of one another. We therefore get creative when it comes to gardening. I have an herb garden in three containers on my deck–sweet basil, chives, parsley, dill, oregano, mint, and sad, sad cilantro which browned over within two weeks of planting. I never claimed to have a green thumb.
My Asian neighbor, on the other hand, has a thick, prodigious vine with enormous leaves and bright yellow-orange blooms. At first, I thought it might be pumpkin, not only for its appearance, but for its location, growing along the side of the house amongst a hedge. Some kid might have dumped a rotting jack-o-lantern there last fall.
The vine has consumed the hedge and jumped onto a neighboring cherry tree, wrapping around the branches and soaring ever higher. And there, hanging down for all to admire, a lonely, giant green squash.
It’s shape reminds me of a bowling pin, thinner at the top, heavy at the bottom. It has a dark green color and no discernible pattern.
Just what is it?
And when will they pick it?
The “squash stroll” is our evening entertainment. We hurry along the sidewalk to the tree, to see if the giant vegetable still remains. And each day, it hangs there, fueling our curiousity. The Asian neighbors are not to be found.
Today my toddler and I found a second squash lying across the thickest branches of the hedge, as if it were taking a nap. It has grown quietly while its sibling hangs proudly for all the neighborhood to see.
So, please tell me, what is it? What kind of vegetable? How do you prepare it? What does it taste like?
Perhaps I should ring the doorbell and ask. But sometimes figuring out a mystery is so much more fun.
(Update! Today I met the young Chinese girl who lives at the house. She did call the vegetable a squash, but she could not recall the English word for it. She says it tastes like pumpkin. I would still like to find out the name! And I neglected to ask her when it would be harvested!)
How do I choose which manuscript to submit to the next first page session? I’ve been going back and forth, trying to decide which one showcases my best work. And yet, the two manuscripts I am considering are so very different.
One is a clever tale of a boy with an unusual name–a name that creates a lot of confusion. This picture book is in the boy’s voice, told from his point of view. Yet the illustrations will show something very different happening around him. I have repeatedly heard editors say that a PB must leave enough unsaid for the pictures to comprise half the story, and I think this tale accomplishes that.
Then I have a fractured fairy tale. With pizzas. Glorious, cheesy pies! What kid doesn’t like pizza? A familiar story with a unique new twist might take the cake. Err, I mean, pie.
I admit, I’m getting a little too hopped up for a first page session. I shouldn’t expect anything to come from it other than a lot of good advice. I listen carefully to each page and then when the editor or agent gives his thoughts, I take a lot of notes, hoping to learn from all the manuscripts, not just mine.
Unfortunately, I don’t think everyone has this attitude. Last time a woman in front of me drew doodles on her paper throughout the two-hour session. And when it was over, she complained that the professionals didn’t like her story because they didn’t understand or appreciate rhyme. That may be true, as the editors worked in middle-grade and not picture books, but I had an entire page of notes on her story, while she went home with a lot of squiggles and stick figures.
There’s two ways to approach a first-page session: as a way to grab the attention of an editor or agent, or as an opportunity to receive professional feedback. It’s important to remember that if your work doesn’t impress the editors, all is not lost. Be inspired to work harder. Editors and agents volunteer their time to these events, and we should all be grateful. They don’t owe us anything. But we owe them our very best work.
How do you know when your manuscript is ready for submission? For some, it’s a gut feeling. But just how do you learn to trust your writer’s intuition?
The support and encouragement of my writing group has helped. I run a picture book manuscript by them three or four times until there’s not much more to be gussied up. And then I tuck that story in my back pocket and wait, creating distance. Weeks later, I iron out the creases.
Months pass. I flip sentences around. And then I flip over in bed all night, over-analyzing the story. I consult the thesaurus and exhaust the synonyms. I belt out the story in my best character voice and listen to how it flows (and someone please tell me why I always slip into a southern accent?). I love reading aloud. That’s the best way for me to check the authenticity of the kid voice, y’all (there I go again). And then, when all that’s left to edit is interrobangs, just when I think I can play endlessly with it for lack of anything better to do, I think it’s time to let it fly.
Or is it?
I understand when experienced authors suggest new writers to take an apprenticeship of two years. Writing improves with practice, and the children’s market has its own set of rules. Moreover, it’s an extremely competitive field with many successful, established authors. To break in these days, not only does your writing have to be crisp, the idea has to be unique. So much has already been done—and done well.
Now, you may believe you have extraordinary talent (don’t we all), but don’t skimp on those two years. Immerse yourself in writing. Read books on the craft, attend conferences, join a critique group, take classes, read best-sellers in your genre. That will always be time well spent, creating a solid foundation from which to launch a career. Think of it as a sling shot: the further you pull yourself into the craft, the further you’ll fling yourself forward.
I subbed four manuscripts out this summer and the rejections are trickling in. Did I submit too early? I admit, I didn’t complete the full two-year apprenticeship before letting go of my stories. Thankfully, I didn’t submit far and wee (little nod to e.e. cummings since it’s so puddle-wonderful outside). I kept the list very small so I could gauge response. And the response tells me I have to improve my gut.
I’m working on it.
I’ve already revised two PBs with a new critique partner, one who really pushes me. I believe in her talent, and she believes in mine. Maybe two guts are better than one.
Writing for Kids (While Raising Them) 