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STORYTELLER: The Authorized Biography of Roald Dahl by Donald Sturrock cannot be missed, yet for two years I missed it. What is wrong with me? (Eh-hem, this is a rhetorical question, thankyouverymuch.)
Roald Dahl remains one of the most iconic children’s authors of all time, yet he began his career writing macabre short stories based upon his experience in the Royal Air Force during World War II. Just how did he evolve into the fantastical children’s author we all love?
Sheila St. Lawrence, Dahl’s literary agent at the Watkins Agency, is to thank. She realized “the ease in which Dahl could enter a child’s mind,” clearly apparent in his short story “The Wish”. In the tale, a young boy dares to walk across a carpet by stepping only on its yellow portions. Should his foot slip onto another color, he thought he would “disappear into a black void or be killed by venomous snakes.” This story was the only adult Dahl piece to feature a child protagonist to date, and it could not escape St. Lawrence’s attention.
After a disastrous two-year foray into playwriting, St. Lawrence implored Dahl to turn his literary aspirations elsewhere. Yet he ignored her kidlit suggestion, wrote stories that got turned down by The New Yorker, and instead got placed in the far less desirable (but still paying) Playboy.
Dahl’s publisher Alfred Knopf expressed interest in a children’s book, but then dropped a collection of adult stories called “Kiss Kiss” from Knopf’s 1959 list. Dahl spouted some choice words in response, threatening that Knopf would never squeeze a children’s book out of him.
Dahl once again became focused on writing for actors, as he wished to develop vehicles for his wife at the time, screen star Patricia Neal. After all, if Neal was working steadily, her income afforded him more time to write what he wanted to write. There were shows for Hitchcock and a drama series for TV based upon classic ghost stories, produced by Alfred Knopf’s half brother. But when the pilot episode encountered a controversy, the series got permanently shelved and Dahl was forced to return to the idea that evolved into JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH.
I will say “and the rest is history” here, although STORYTELLER is only halfway through Dahl’s life story at this point. So like Sheila St. Lawrence, I implore you to turn your literary aspirations toward it.
But before I go, it would be a shame not to share with you Dahl’s advice to children’s writers, as told to Helen Edwards in an interview for Bedtime Stories exactly 42 years ago:
What makes a good children’s writer? The writer must have a genuine and powerful wish not only to entertain children, but to teach them the habit of reading…[He or she] must be a jokey sort of fellow…[and] must like simple tricks and jokes and riddles and other childish things. He must be unconventional and inventive. He must have a really first-class plot. He must know what enthralls children and what bores them. They love being spooked. They love ghosts. They love the finding of treasure. The love chocolates and toys and money. They love magic. They love being made to giggle. They love seeing the villain meet a grisly death. They love a hero and they love the hero to be a winner. But they hate descriptive passages and flowery prose. They hate long descriptions of any sort. Many of them are sensitive to good writing and can spot a clumsy sentence. They like stories that contain a threat. “D’you know what I feel like?” said the big crocodile to the smaller one. “I feel like having a nice plump juicy child for my lunch.” They love that sort of thing. What else do they love? New inventions. Unorthodox methods. Eccentricity. Secret information. The list is long. But above all, when you write a story for them, bear in mind that they do not possess the same power of concentration as an adult, and they become very easily bored or diverted. Your story, therefore, must tantalize and titillate them on every page and all the time that you are writing you must be saying to yourself, “Is this too slow? Is it too dull? Will they stop reading?” To those questions, you must answer yes more often than you answer no. [If not] you must cross it out and start again.
For me, these are words to write by. Funny that he should utter them within days of my birth! (Wait a second, did I just reveal my age?! Eh-hem, this is a rhetorical question, thankyouverymuch.)
UPDATE: Whoopsie. I looked at the wrong footnote. The quote above is from a letter Dahl wrote to “The Writer” Magazine in October, 1975: “A Note on Writing Books for Children”.
Allow me to reveal the cover of THE MONSTORE, my June 2013 picture book illustrated by James Burks!

It’s so fabulous I spend hours staring at it as if I’m a 7th grade dork in love with a 1981 poster of Rick Springfield.
Forget about wishing to be Jessie’s girl, I’d rather be James’s girl, ’cause the dude seriously knows how to whiz-bang-kaPOW a picture book cover. ( Oh, Rick, please don’t take it personally.)
That’s main character Zack front-and-center with his pesky little sister Gracie popping into the frame. The hulking orange guy is Manfred, the flying monster is Mookie, and that’s Mojo with the striped, wiggling arms and crooked horns. Peeper is the little eyeball perched on the Monstore sign, although he isn’t named in the book. He’s James’s invention!
That leaves the red broom guy. And guess what? He doesn’t have a name. Well, he does because James names all the character he draws, but this monster never gets mentioned in the story.
So here’s a monster of a contest for ya: try to guess the name James gave him! If you do, you’ll win an original, autographed monster sketch by the talented Mr. Burks. If no one guesses his correct name, or if there’s more than one correct answer, the ultimate winner will be decided by Random.org. UPDATE: We’re now giving away TWO sketches because y’all have come up with such great names. One to the person who guesses the name and one random winner chosen from the rest of the entries.
You get one entry for commenting and then one additional entry for each place you share THE MONSTORE cover—blog, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, etc. Just leave a comment letting us know! The contest closes one week from today, so get those monsterly names in!
Hope you love the cover.
And if Rick Springfield is out there, how about playing my book launch party?
Have your people call my monsters.

*Photo Credit: WENN.com

“Tara Lazar’s LITTLE RED GLIDING HOOD, with an icy twist on the familiar fairy tale, where Little Red is desperately searching for a partner in the upcoming pairs skating competition, to Heidi Kilgras at Random House Children’s, by Ammi-Joan Paquette at Erin Murphy Literary Agency (World).”
Thanks for making my announcement, Ryan. *blush*
It couldn’t have come on a better day!
This was a deal that required a lot of perseverance. It proved to me that writers should never give up on a story.
And I must say that I am thrilled beyond all beyond (is that even an idiom?) to be working with Heidi Kilgras, who has edited titles of industry legends such as Jane Yolen. WOWZA.
From the very beginning, Heidi had a particular illustrator in mind for this project. I hope to share that news with you soon because it’s pretty darn awesome!
Congratulations to all the writers and illustrators featured in PM today! In picture book news, Marilyn Sadler sold ALICE FROM DALLAS to Abrams Children’s and Susan Reagan sold PINGO AND PUFF to Hyperion Children’s.
And now, it’s time to PAR-TAY!

Photo Credit: Martha Payne
Thanks to new fan and friend John Evans, I just learned about NeverSeconds, a blog written by a nine-year-old Scottish schoolgirl named Martha Payne (a.k.a. “VEG”) who was tired of her awful school dinners. So Martha decided to photograph her meals, rate them (she counts the number of hairs included at no extra cost), and share them with the world.
A clever kid! But this story gets even better.
Once VEG’s school council got word of the blog, they banned her from taking photographs of her meals. But Jamie Oliver, the celebrity chef who has been campaigning for healthier school meals worldwide, launched a social media support crusade via Twitter. After millions of blog hits and public outcry, Roddy McCuish, the leader of the Argyll and Bute Council in West Scotland, lifted the blog ban. McCuish claimed preventing the photos from being posted was a form of censorship. So VEG is online once again.
Not only is she still posting her meals, she’s receiving photos from children and educators around the world. Plus, Martha is raising money for Mary’s Meals, headquartered in Scotland and right here in New Jersey! This non-profit organization’s mission is to feed children in the most impoverished nations.
I have a passion for healthy eating, so I just had to blog about this young girl’s chutzpah! I hope you’ll support her over at NeverSeconds and maybe submit your own school lunch! If she posts your picture, VEG will even tell you how long she took to find your location on the globe. It’s a good food and geography lesson all at once!
So…just for fun…I wrote a song parody for Martha/VEG. Sung to the tune of Bon Jovi’s “You Give Love a Bad Name”, this is “School Gives LUNCH a Bad Name”. Enjoy and mangia!
School Gives Lunch a Bad Name
Your meal’s a la carte
But it’s still lame.
Martha,
School gives lunch a bad name. (Bad name.)
A “balanced” meal is what they sell
They promise you chicken but give you dry spelt.
A plain white tray with no mashies,
And globs of brown stuff that stink like bad cheese.
Oh, it’s a load of yuck!
Oh, they told you don’t blog
But Jamie told Twitter,
“You’re righteous, photog!”
Your meal’s a la carte
But it’s still lame.
Martha,
School gives lunch a bad name. (Bad name.)
We read your grade; it’s a four you claim.
Martha,
School gives lunch a bad name. (Bad name.)
School gives lunch, oh!
Bring the fork to your lips,
Pull out hair with your fingertips.
Your school cooks bad, we don’t know why.
It’s not too hard to make fresh veggie stir-fry.
Oh, it’s a load of yuck!
Oh, they told you don’t blog
But Jamie told Twitter,
“You’re righteous, photog!”
Your meal’s a la carte
But it’s still lame.
Martha,
School gives lunch a bad name. (Bad name.)
We read your grade; it’s a four you claim.
Martha,
School gives lunch a bad name. (Bad name.)
School gives lunch, oh!
I just got back from a FABULOUS 1st grade school visit! I was so excited about it that I immediately had to vlog.
While this isn’t my first vlog (that was for EMU’s Debuts), it is the debut vlog for this blog.
If you want to start doing school visits as a pre-published author, I explain the way to go about it. I think. *Warning: DO NOT APPEAR AS CRAZY AS I DO IN THIS VIDEO.*
Apologies for the ethereal lighting. I was sitting in my breakfast nook with the blinds opened. But I rather prefer the Cybill Shepherd “Moonlighting” look, don’t you, dahlings? (What, you don’t know what that means? Oh, you young whipper-snapper, go Google it.)
More apologies for the mirror writing. If I knew how to flip a video, I would. Anyone know? Help?!
And hey, wanna know more about my school visits? I’m going old-school with a CLICK HERE. (Really. Click there.)
And please remember to leave me a comment about what we should name “vlogs” instead of “vvlawwwgz”. It’s an ugly word for an exciting medium.
The title of this blog post is a misnomer because no one has a crystal iPhone to see into the future. All I can report upon is what I heard at the NJ-SCBWI conference this past weekend. But I can say with certainty there is good news, not portents of doomsday.
In fact, according to Steven Meltzer, Associate Publisher/ Executive Managing Editor at Penguin Group USA, with every new technology, from the gramophone to the radio to the TV, came a prediction of the book’s demise. But the book continued to thrive and grow despite innovative forms of electronic entertainment. And today, Americans purchase 8 million physical books daily. In the 4th quarter of 2011, Amazon’s sales of physical books rose by double digits. It surprised them, too. But you cannot give an ebook as a holiday gift. Well, you can, but there’s nothing to wrap—and more importantly—unwrap. So physical books won out in the season of giving. Plus e-book sales remain a relatively small percentage of book purchases: 26% of adult fiction and 11% of children’s books.
Moreover, 74% of today’s readers have never even read an e-book, and 14% of those who own an e-reader have never read a book on it. The digital book market, despite what seems to be the e-reader’s ubiquity, is in a nascent stage.
Stacey Williams-Ng, author of the digital book ASTROJAMMIES and founder of Little Bahalia, a book app developer, also demonstrated how poorly imagined some digital books currently are. A swipe of the finger on an iPad screen blew the wind in one book, but the same motion also turned the page. This meant a child playing with the app could be easily frustrated with the next page when they really wanted to manipulate a tornado.
Also problematic, the vertical orientation of most e-readers creates double the page turns of traditional picture books, throwing off the timing of a story. Creating digital horizontal spreads is preferred, but then you’re also dealing with a much smaller version of the original. Sometimes the solution is to make digital books (that do not have a hardcopy counterpart) shorter than the traditional 32-page picture book.
But Williams-Ng learned the hard way it’s difficult to do traditional promotion with a digital book. She has a great relationship with her local bookseller, but when it came time to do an ASTROJAMMIES appearance, she realized she had no physical book for the store to sell. Moreover, there was nothing to sign. Williams-Ng warned, “You need a hardcopy book to sell the digital book.” She self-published the hardcopy version of her digital creation so she didn’t have to wait years to find a traditional publisher.
Right now there are three main forms of e-books: e-pubs, which are similar to PDF files and have re-flowing text (which means you can change text format and size); enhanced e-books, which are e-pub with embedded features like audio and video; and book apps, which can be anything that can be programmed, from a movie to a game and beyond. “The sky’s the limit with book apps,” said Williams-Ng.
However, the Big 6 are picking and choosing which picture books to digitize; one publisher is no longer making e-pubs of their entire list because most e-books do not sell. The ones that are popular now are the classics like Dr. Seuss—books everyone knows. A new picture book has to lend itself to interactivity for a publisher to consider the book app investment, which can run approximately $25,000, according to Williams-Ng. So if you, as an author, WANT to have a digital book, you should think about interactivity at the very start of your creative process.
Digital publishing is about five years behind the music business in terms of figuring out new distribution and pricing models. In 2011, digital music sales surpassed physical music sales for the first time. Album sales were up for the first time since 2004. The industry is adapting. Publishing will adapt as well.
Steven Meltzer believes picture book sales will escalate because parents will buy a hardcopy book for the home, and if their child enjoys it, they’ll purchase the digital version for their mobile device. “Bundling is coming, too,” he said, referring to the practice of selling a hardcopy and digital book together at a discounted price. “It’s good news for picture book authors.” (Insert Snoopy dance.)
So what’s next for digital books? The future could be digital readers with foldable layers, multi-screened with high definition graphics. The future might even be Xenotext: “encoding textual information into genetic nucleotides, thereby creating ‘messages’ made from DNA—messages that we can then implant, like genes, inside cells, where such messages persist, undamaged and unaltered, through myriad cycles of mitosis, all the while preserved for later recovery and decoding.”
“Remember M.T. Anderson’s FEED?” Meltzer asked. “Wouldn’t it be ironic to be fed FEED?”
No matter what the future holds, “people are still writing and reading…ain’t nothing ever going to change that.”
Thanks, Mr. Meltzer, I needed that reassurance.
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TL: THE MONSTER WHO LOST HIS MEAN is about a monster who loses his ‘M’. You know I host 
















