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Many thanks to my Writers Circle friend Michael Pilla for allowing me to share his hilarious holiday ode to the digital age! Enjoy and Merry Christmas!

santaberryTwas the Tweet before Christmas…

And all through the ‘net, there were last-minute specials,

And shopping time yet!

Photos were sent to the cloud with great care

So family and friends would be able to share.

The usual gadgets, some small and some large

Were all neatly plugged in for their overnight recharge.

And mom on her iPad and me on my Mac

Were Skype-ing our friends while having a snack

When then our connection was lost to the router

I yanked off my earbuds to see what was the matter.

A tingling I felt, from my head to my toes

Spying a red Mini Cooper  festooned with logos!

Flying faster than video on 1080p

The driver called out his sponsors, as clear as can be…

Now ebay, now Apple, now Am’zon and Zappos,

On Google, on Priceline, on Fedex and Fios!

I knew in a moment, without any pause

He was the new and improved Santa, “Cyber Clause”.

Struck speechless was I, much like a mime

But I had to go greet him and grab some face time.

His clothes were Armani, to give him his due

He looked healthy and rested, and much slimmer too.

No more with the sleigh, or toys in the sack

That was old Clause, with the bad back.

“I’m the Mayor of Christmas” he chortled with glee

As he checked in with FourSquare, before speaking to me.

With gadgets, and cards, he briefly explained

My job’s become easier, no need to strain.

I’ve streamlined my workshop, there’s much less to do

Put a factory in China, reindeers in a zoo

I layed off some elves, I now work part time

Since I developed an app to keep kiddies in line

No more written lists of those naughty and nice

I get real-time updates, don’t have to check twice.

He dropped off some gifts that were both pretty and small

And sucked down the Red Bull I left in the hall.

Then quick as a wink he dashed out to his car

It started right up, and was bright as a star

He texted my Droid as he drove out of sight

“Like me on Facebook” and have a good night!

.

michaelpillaBorn and raised in the Bronx, NY, Michael Pilla has spent his career as graphic designer, creative director, Internet marketer, and entrepreneur. Since starting his own firm in 2003, he has brought the power of the internet to such diverse industries as arts and entertainment, restaurants, food and beverage and a number of small businesses.A sought-after speaker and writer on Internet Marketing issues, Michael is working on a humorous guide book for start-up entrepreneurs. Reach him at Pilla Creative Marketing or Section 11: The Search for Intelligent Humor.

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HarperCollins
July 2021

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Sourcebooks eXplore
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Little, Brown
2022

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