Before I got my first publishing contract, I dreamed of the day I could call myself a bonafide “author”. I thought my life would be transformed. Transformed how, I wasn’t sure, but I’d walk down the street with a dignified air.
Of course, I got my first contract and I was like Samantha Baker on her 16th birthday. I looked in the mirror and nothing had changed. (And, I will note that the cream they say diminishes dark under-eye circles doesn’t work.) Sure, I was happy—thrilled—but the Tara remained the same. For instance, nowadays:
- I don’t wear tweed jackets with elbow patches.
- I don’t sit in Queen Anne chairs, sipping Darjeeling.
- My toilet doesn’t magically scrub under its rim.
- I haven’t taken up pipe smoking.
- I still don’t use words like “forthright” and “verisimilitude”.
- Joyce Carol Oates has not invited me to dinner. (But I’m only 45 minutes away, Ms. Oates!)
Nope. In fact, I still:
- Remain in my jammies for 2-3 days at a time.
- Drown my eggs in ketchup.
- Do a spot-on impression of Kermit, Miss Piggy, Elmo and Fozzie Bear—while I’m buying groceries.
- Have zero confidence in my writing at times.
- Fall into creative slumps.
- Wear my hair in pigtails.
- Question my significance after viewing Hubble images.
So, I’m here to say…if you haven’t gotten a publishing contract yet, don’t sweat it. You’re still an artist. You’re still a writer. Heck, you’re even an “author”. Life doesn’t really change when you sign on the dotted line. But…
…maybe it changes after the book is released?!
39 comments
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January 11, 2012 at 9:47 am
Corey Schwartz
It doesn’t change after the book is released.. unless maybe the book is a best seller?
January 11, 2012 at 9:47 am
Julie Falatko
Any post that references Sixteen Candles within two paragraphs makes me all smiley.
Thanks for this. Makes us non-official-authors feel like people too.
January 11, 2012 at 9:47 am
Susanna Leonard Hill
I love this post, Tara! So very true! I am currently wearing my jammies, BTW, and hoping against hope that someday I’ll get another dotted line to sign 🙂
January 11, 2012 at 9:49 am
Jan
Thanks for making me smile. I needed that. Jan
January 11, 2012 at 9:50 am
Alison Ashley Formento
I’ve heard you have to have 50 books published before the toilet magically cleans itself. I’m aiming for that day, too.
January 11, 2012 at 9:51 am
Cathy C. Hall
What? Your toilet isn’t magically scrubbed under the rim? What’s the point of ALL THIS WORK if nobody’s going to do my toilets???
Sigh. I was really hoping for BIG changes if I ever got a publishing contract. Can I least buy new business cards and put “Author” under my name? And maybe sneak a “forthright” into a conversation?
Thanks, Tara–you made me smile this morning.
January 11, 2012 at 9:54 am
Niki Masse Schoenfeldt
Amen to that Tara! I guess the lesson here is to be true to yourself no matter who notices. Great post.
January 11, 2012 at 9:55 am
Tara
Aww, thank you. My aim is always to make y’all smile.
January 11, 2012 at 9:56 am
Madelyn Rosenberg
I have been training my children to scrub the toilets, which is giving me another new title as far as they are concerned… Thanks for post.
January 11, 2012 at 10:02 am
carrie pearson
So true, Tara. We all put on our jammies one leg at a time.
January 11, 2012 at 10:07 am
Renee LaTulippe
Jammies for three days? I thought it was just me! Thanks for your forthright appraisal of post-contract life, and for this fun post. 🙂
January 11, 2012 at 10:24 am
greg matusic
Ha! Samantha Baker… Great reference and great blog post, Tara. And thumbs up to drowning your eggs in ketchup.
January 11, 2012 at 10:37 am
Julie
So I’m not the only one who is in jammies for the better part of the week! Guess that makes me an author too – LOL.
Love the Sixteen Candles reference. Only folks of a “certain” generation would get that. 😉
January 11, 2012 at 10:39 am
Heather
Great post! I’m glad that I’m not the only jammie wearing, ketchup drowning, pigtail wearing creative person out there! As far as the toilet thing, I have 4 guys living here. ‘Nuff said.
January 11, 2012 at 10:50 am
Jen Doktorski
I love this post. As a mom/writer from NJ with two books under contract (YA), I’m livin’ a similar life. I was hoping life would change after publication. Maybe I’ll at least be able to afford nicer jammies.
January 11, 2012 at 11:23 am
stephseclecticinterests
What a great post! I love it. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m going to share it on my social networks. Have a great day…and psst – you’re a very good writer.
January 11, 2012 at 11:30 am
Elizabeth Stevens Omlor
Ms. Lazar… I do believe we are tuned to the same frequency! I am taking my blog in a new direction and would loooove if you would be one of my featured authors! If you are curious and have some time to kill….would you mind contacting me via email? I would be eternally grateful for the rest of my days. 🙂
January 11, 2012 at 11:32 am
Sandi Hershenson
Great post Tara! You made me smile on a day that I needed it!
January 11, 2012 at 12:02 pm
Tamson!
True, true….alas…
January 11, 2012 at 12:17 pm
Melissa K.
If anyone finds out what the career is that does cause your toilet to self-scrub, would you please let me know? Maybe I can convince my husband to take it up as a sideline.
I love your blog. I applaud it, calling out, “Author! Author!” And i mean it most sincerely. Thanks for speaking directly to my core, where the Story Lady lives. Her hair is in braids, and the braids are in “loops.”
January 11, 2012 at 12:56 pm
Darshana
Lovely post. Hmm, I wonder if that means I am going to be stuck in high-tech forever and ever. Oh well at least I like my colleagues and sometimes even the work. Love the Sixteen Candles analogy.
January 11, 2012 at 1:04 pm
Betsy Devany
You made me smile and laugh, and decide to invest in more pairs of pajamas.
January 11, 2012 at 1:08 pm
Tara
I am a pajama junkie. I want to buy a new pair every winter. I can’t resist. I have been looking for hot cocoa ones. With marshmallows, of course.
January 11, 2012 at 1:24 pm
Genevieve Petrillo
You are hilarious. And FYI, nothing changes after the release, except you may get an occasional check that pays a car payment or two. Plus you get to go into the bookstore and take way too many pictures of yourself standing next to your new book!
January 11, 2012 at 2:05 pm
Cathy Mealey
Smiling…and now feel the urge to hit Google for slamma-jammas with hot cocoa and marshmellows on them!
January 11, 2012 at 2:24 pm
Ishta Mercurio
Great post. But one thing is different: you’ve begun to earn money for doing something that you love. That is a rare and beautiful thing. Good luck finding those jammies!
January 11, 2012 at 2:24 pm
Marcie Colleen
Tara, you always say it like no other can! Great post! And savor wearing those jammies…I know I wish I could during the day!
January 11, 2012 at 2:52 pm
Sarah Frances Hardy
Yeah–people warned me that the publishing contract wouldn’t be life changing.
It is nice, though, when people ask what I write, I can say a release date instead of looking at my feet and admitting to “still sending things out” and “hoping for someday”.
sf
January 11, 2012 at 4:22 pm
Joanne Fritz
Hahaha! I’m picturing you doing your Kermit and Miss Piggy impressions in the grocery store. Love it!
Terrific post, Tara. What?? Your toilet DOESN’T scrub itself? You’ll have to let us know if anything changes when MONSTORE is finally released into the wild!
I’m relieved to hear that even authors with contracts get into writing slumps. Whew! And I’m with ya on that cream that’s supposed to get rid of dark circles. It doesn’t.
January 11, 2012 at 5:12 pm
Tara
I once spent about a half hour in a Kohl’s dressing room entertaining my then three-year old with a Donkey (from Shrek) impression. I am surprised no one jumped over the stall to kill me.
January 11, 2012 at 4:55 pm
Christie Wild
That was a nice post to read to boost my spirits in other aspects of life, too. I interviewed for a teaching position on Monday and just found out this afternoon that I didn’t get it. But I can still call myself a teacher, right? Thanks!
January 11, 2012 at 5:11 pm
Tara
Christie, that school is missing out on a wonderful teacher! Their loss!
January 12, 2012 at 9:14 am
Jenn DesAutels
How perfect to receive this gift from you this January morning as the driving rain pelts at the window. Thanks Tara!
January 15, 2012 at 8:26 am
Janet
Great post! The one thing that would change is that I can say, “I did it! I didn’t give up.” And, it would be great to be able to contribute a “little” money to our household after being a stay at home mom my entire married life.
January 15, 2012 at 3:53 pm
Catherine Johnson
I’d love to hear your Kermit the Frog impression Tara. And all that is great to hear, otherwise I’d go itno a state of panic and get overwhelmed, paper bag where are you lol?
January 15, 2012 at 4:33 pm
Tara
Hi, ho. Kermit de frog here. Oh wait. You can’t hear that.
January 16, 2012 at 12:46 pm
Catherine Johnson
You’ve got your onomatoepeia (can’t spell it) right on for Kermit. I do hope we will one day meet up, then I can hear it for real.
January 15, 2012 at 4:23 pm
Leslie Gorin
Great post, Tara. It reminded me of one of my favorite quotes (from Gertrude Stein, I think): “When you get there, there’s no there there.” Thanks for the reminder that even so, there’s still a here here!
January 20, 2012 at 1:25 am
viviankirkfield
What…doesn’t everyone write while wearing their jammies? 🙂
Thank you, Tara, for this honest and unvarnished view of you!!! Absolutely love it! Especially the comment about the face cream that doesn’t work.
And, if you lived 45 minutes from me, I’d definitely invite you over for lunch. 🙂